Archive for December, 2010
Getting My Voice On
0Some people might find getting burned in a fire difficult to connect with how, when and why I became an actor but that is essentially part of my story line and are inextricably linked. As the burn story goes, my sister Susie always told me how she “smelled” me from her perch in the basement that morning and told my mom who was ironing away down there with her to check on me. There she found me, stuck to and burning on the stove. As Susie tells the story, I was silent. Not crying out or calling for help. It seems I had lost my voice.
So today when I voiced tags* for 29 tv commercials across the country, I silently counted my blessings. A number of years ago, I found my voice and I don’t think I would have realized it had I not gone through the fire. The story is too long for a single post but this blog helps me tell it in my stylish, compartmentalized way. Even this snippet focuses me on two things: 1) I need to have another conversation with sister Susie to see if the wives tale I’d heard is still her story today; and 2) Soren Kierkegaard‘s quote mirrors my own thoughts these days, “Life can only be understood backward but it must be lived forward.”
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- Betsy – Frog Painting (bethparkerart.wordpress.com)
- To not dare is to lose oneself (empwaynek.wordpress.com)
- 10 Søren Kierkegaard’s quotes on faith (lambfollower.wordpress.com)
Feelings, Nothing More Than Feelings…..
11I guess sometimes it takes a few good men to get a strong woman to talk about her feelings. First, one male reader of this blog suggested I write more about my feelings from these experiences. Within days, a second male reader suggested the same thing. Sheesh. They certainly picked up on one of my Achilles heels — feelings are not my favorite category. Here’s why: My mind took over and my feelings froze. My memory is that as I burned on that stove, there was a moment when it no longer hurt and I accepted that I was going to die. I could think clearly but didn’t feel anything anymore. Intellect first, feelings sometime later. Even now, when pain or emotional distress come my way, the pattern returns and I freeze. It makes me adept at “compartmentalizing” those pesky feelings. If and when I’m ready to make sense of the feelings part, I find I can go back hours, days, weeks or months later to open that emotional valise and address it. Or not. There are a lot of theories on delayed reactions like these and I have to work harder-than-the-average bear to connect hurt-to-feel. Anyone else experience something similar?
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- Hurting Back (malouatienza.wordpress.com)
- Judith Orloff MD: Gusher Or Empath? How To Identify And Master Your Emotional Type (huffingtonpost.com)
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- Feelings (English File) (englishelxni2.wordpress.com)
That Baby Book Again on My Birthday December 8th
3
Now that I am a regular reader of my own baby book, I thought I would share this entry from my mother on December 8th, my birthday, the year of the burn, “Anne spent her 2nd birthday in St . Vincent’s Hospital. We didn’t recall to her it was her birthday, but every few days took a gift up for her.” It’s unclear whether I spent my 2nd birthday or my 3rd birthday in the hospital — my mother’s entries had some inconsistencies on the years. It’s understandable of course, the woman was going through some rather traumatic stress in her own right. When I think about this, I might have done exactly the same thing with my small child if faced with a similar situation. I mean, why remind them of something they probably wouldn’t understand anyway. In any event, happy birthday to me. How would you handle a situation like this with a 2- or 3-year old?
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- December 8th Birthday Post Finished January 30th Part 1 (ocdbloggergirl.wordpress.com)
When the Fire is Over, Just Put it Out
2I searched for my Texas cousin Sara’s blog, “Sara’s Corner,” but it wasn’t there. Last December, she took early retirement after 25ish years of working for the same company since college, rising through the ranks and reaching a position of power. She was the proverbial corporate gal, a go-getter and we wondered what her next act would be. In January, we learned it was breast cancer. Surgery, chemotherapy and radiation dominated her year, which was punctuated by a hysterectomy once the cancer treatment was complete. An ordeal to be sure. Her blog provided updates on the treatments and her state of mind, which was remarkably, consistently positive — not only with the status of treatments but as if this was merely another glitch in the corporate project that was her. It was nothing short of inspirational and reminded me that everyone handles set-backs in different ways and I very much liked her way. For Sara’s supporters, it allowed us to get an update, feel relief but not have to knock down her door to do it. So when I searched for the blog and the latest update, cyberspace gave me nothing. I contacted her to ask about the blog. And that’s when I learned she had taken it down. The ordeal was over and she told me that taking the blog down was a sign of her victory. I love it. She did it again — a simple, intuitive solution. When the fire is over, just put it out.
Putting Fire Out
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